BURGER, IPA, NFL, MARRIOT?!

How many more burger joints and diners need to pop up before every last vegan surrenders to the hedonistic American Way of Life? That's not it, I don't think.

But I also don't believe our craving for grease-dripping burgers and American food will ever disappear. Still, "American cuisine" in Germany suffers from the same problem that plagues most non-German restaurants here: they lack authentic atmosphere and that feeling of being transported somewhere else. Anyone who's actually been to the States knows what we're talking about: Obscene portions, Cheddaaaaaar everywhere, grease, jalapeños, and sticky ketchup-mustard hands – while the whole vibe screams: "You're rolling out of here sideways."

And so we find ourselves wondering at almost every local diner: Why does each place insist on reinventing the burger? House-made sauces here, fusion touches there. Candlelight, hipster servers, and electronic Spotify playlists have fuck all to do with where diners actually come from. You can only reinvent American "recipes" – if we're calling them recipes – with new ingredients. But those mean nothing if the first bite doesn't immediately hit that primal switch. The Champions at Munich's Marriott gets closer to what a diner should actually feel like.

While we Germans rarely venture into hotels just to eat, this quintessentially American hotel restaurant delivers what every America obsessive craves: NFL RedZone on multiple screens, American commentators, endless TVs and flatscreens, gambas, nachos, wings, beef tenderloin, truffle fries, and naturally – cocktails, IPAs, and a bar where you can comfortably post up alone.